he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
