Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
