I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
