So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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