i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
