So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
