sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toyâ€
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