chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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