true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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