no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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