They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Randomize