I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
