Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
