i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
