I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think pants incapable of making pants work
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize