I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
