There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
