He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
