as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
