why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
