dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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