Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
