he puts the penis in happiness.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
