Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So drunk its hurt
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize