So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize