He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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