Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
