i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I've blown a few things in my day
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
