Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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