yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
