Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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