He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
