you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
