Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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