Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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