My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
