I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
