id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
