babies were throwing up all over the place
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Come on in and take your pants off
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