Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
my god I love twenty year old dicks
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
