Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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