I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
