I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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