dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
