Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
