There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize