he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
