why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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