So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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