Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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