Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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