How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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