I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
