508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
