Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
