My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
