You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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