I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
