1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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