She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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