you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
