Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
